Once you are back to green light, you may continue your discussion about the in-law dinner.
Red light is stop; I've just had such a strong reaction that I am unable to listen or share my thoughts and feelings.
Do come back to discuss the process of what just happened; eventually shift back to the content.
We’d all like to stop aging in its tracks and if possible, reverse it, even if only a little.
This is the time to shift from the content of the conversation (e.g., going to my in-laws for dinner) to the process of the conversation (e.g., "Yellow light.
Notice your body, breathing, thoughts and feelings.I know quite a few people who end up refusing to face the mirror for any reason whatever!But we don’t all have to resort to such drastic measures, because there is something simple and enjoyable you can do to slow down the clock.It gives you a space to sense your own experience and feelings, and it gives time for the thinking brain to come online so you have an opportunity to respond (vs. The point of slowing down is that you have so many more choices of response: you can become curious about what just happened, what's up with your partner, and what's going on internally.You can focus on seeking to understand your own and our partner's perspectives, needs, triggers, and especially the meanings of what occurred.