Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.
You might think that words like are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.
Instead, as with good tip #5, use the message to ask about him/her.
Talking about yourself, at this point, should be limited, and related to the person you're interested in.**Bonus advice: Never, for the love of god, describe yourself (whether in your profile, or in messages) as a "kick-ass" ANYTHING. A few years back, the OKCupid blog posted a really helpful index of what kinds of messages get responses — and which ones don't.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.
If we wanted to read your profile, we'd have gone to it.
Let me tell you, nobody on that site is reading it. There's lots of good stuff here — write using real words and real sentences; don't compliment their looks up front; bring up specific interests.
Again, you'd think these things would go without saying.
It can help your love life, and, besides, if there really was a god, wouldn’t first messages Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been anonymized, with sender and recipient data and all IP and timestamp information stripped out.
In addition, our analysis program looked at messages only two or three words at a time, to track the success of certain words or phrases (like “what’s up” vs. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data.