So, if anything has changed in the way I use dating apps, it’s in how seriously I take them.
I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my blackness, but the older I get, the more comfortable I am with every aspect of my identity.
Using dating apps for me is a constant assessment of if I’ll be wanted. Not long ago, I rejoined Ok Cupid, which my best friend affectionately calls OKCreep, because she found a nice guy through the app.
A month ago, I had a wonderful first date and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since.
I have been able to see my blackness as something that defines me, but not as something that alienates me.
So to answer your question, yes, I do accept and celebrate myself as a black woman, though I’d be curious to know what that looks like in your mind.
In regards to Christian Rudder’s findings, it was tough to hear for me, too.
They comprise nearly two-thirds of black undergraduates and a clear majority of advanced degree holders. On June 18, 2007, Tommy Poindexter coaxed a woman out of her apartment in West Palm Beach, Florida by telling her that her car had a flat.
I want to talk about my dating life in a funny, relatable, and real way that paints myself — and hopefully black women by extension — as multidimensional people who have to navigate the world just like everyone else, but with an added layer of race-related challenges (This is not to say I represent all black women by any stretch of the imagination! Naturally, this isn’t always conveyed in a way that necessarily makes people comfortable or happy.
I just want it to be real, and I hope that sharing my experiences is more resonant than it is pain-inducing.
If I use them at all, I do so mostly as a distraction.
The problem with this is, when I do come across someone I like, I have to reconcile my hesitation to fully engage with them and the desire to eventually be in a relationship.